The Lure of the Engagement Ring
From the Blog of "Aurora 888" a Psychic Advisor on Keen,
A dream come true for many women is a wedding proposal and a dazzling engagement ring. In fact, the goal of ones relationship may be to obtain that marriage promise and ring as symbols of love and commitment from one's man. However, it is not the ring or the proposal that will make your relationship last a lifetime. It's the emotional commitment a man offers you from his heart.
Is your potential husband willing to talk about his feelings, fulfill your needs and work with you to create a healthy relationship?
There can be a lot of pressure to secure that engagement ring. A woman who has been going out with a guy for a year or two may get interrogated by her friends and family about getting married. They point out that her sister just got engaged or that many friends or work colleagues are already married with kids. Soon, all she can think about is: "Will he propose on my birthday? Will he propose on our vacation? Will he propose on our anniversary?" The proposal becomes her goal.
Perhaps the man finally does ask the woman to marry him and gives her a beautiful diamond ring. She feels like a success. She got him to propose! Her friends and family are ecstatic and she's walking on air. "Let's see the ring!" everyone asks, and each time she proudly displays it, she thinks to herself, "I'm so happy".
But at some point, after they are married, the woman begins to realize that the relationship has some serious problems. Perhaps her husband is putting all of his time into his career, and none into the marriage. He refuses to talk about anything she's unhappy with, and answers her complaints with the comment, "That's just the way I am."
Did these problems mysteriously manifest after the wedding? Did her husband really change so much following the marriage ceremony? No! These issues were there all along, but the woman was too busy looking for signs that he might propose, rather than looking for signs that he was truly emotionally committed.
Emotional commitments are more valuable than an engagement ring.
Emotional commitments are promises you and your partner make to one another about how you each plan to grow as an individual and as a couple. They are things you should talk about over and over again before you even get engaged.
Five Basic Emotional Commitments
He is committed to learning everything he can about you.
He is committed to always trying to be a better mate by actively working on improving himself and getting rid of any unhealthy emotional habits.
He is committed to working hard to express his love through words and through affection, and to fulfill your needs.
He is committed to doing whatever it takes to make your relationship work. He will work on problems by discussing them, and using books, tapes, counseling, or any other tools available to help your marriage.
He is committed to staying emotionally open in your relationship. He will communicate his feelings to you, let you know what's going on inside of him, and reach out, rather than push you away.
These five commitments mean much more than the vow, "I'm committed to marrying you." A wedding ceremony or a license will not alone create true commitment. Marriage is not a piece of paper, wearing a ring, collecting photo albums of your vacations, how long you've lived in the same house together, having a big party (reception) or how others see you (as a married couple.)
Marriage is when you and your partner resonate together mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually and it lasts by renewing and practicing the emotional commitments.
The way you love, honor and respect your partner is an expression of your emotional commitment to one another. Emotional commitments are the true diamonds of any relationship or marriage. And unlike diamond rings, their value has no limits.
