From a Psychic Advisor on Keen
In the age of online dating, a lot of relationships are forming for reasons other than true love. Once the search for a soul mate seems like an uphill struggle, many women are settling for a simulation of the perfect relationship rather than hold out for true love.
While most of us are in love with the idea of being in love, some of us are stopping there and avoiding the pursuit (and acquisition) of true love. Many women are settling for a man who "will do." Some women date a man and decide to get into a relationship because he passes the old "Axe" test. That test of a man goes like this: You date him and find out that he is not an axe murderer, so no matter how little you two have in common, you commit to a relationship. So what if you like opera and he likes monster truck rallies, so what if you like health food and he likes fast food, so what if there is an extreme age difference, wage difference and not to mention a size and shape difference -- he is committing to you and you now have a boyfriend, so forget about the concept of compatibility, you have managed to fall in love! And hey, to top it all off, the man you love is not an axe murderer!
A year or two later you are lonely and have even become out of touch with who you are. Your old friends are all gone, a social circle dissolved. Why? You settled for the minimum qualifications for a relationship as you were so desperate to simply be in one. When the idea of being in love and having a man dominates your thinking, this idea can cloud your ability to see true love. This idea can lock you into a relationship that keeps you away from your true soul mate. Imagine marrying a man just to be married and meeting the love of your life at the wedding reception. Even worse would be marrying a man who "will do" and find out that he truly loves and adores you while you are hardly attracted to anything about him.
There are a few ways to tell whether you are with the one or not. When you are in true love, your partner finishes your sentences for you in a manner that brings joy to your eyes and heart. You are so interested in your partner when you are in love that you begin rooting for his favorite team, enjoying his choice of restaurants and knowing exactly where to touch him to soothe any of his tension. True love is a connection like no other. The hunger for this magical state drives so many people to accept pale, if well-meaning, imitations.
Once a man holds your hand, it is not the end of the search. It is, in fact, the beginning of the mysterious process of transformation and self-awareness. As you learn about love, the fog of desire may cloud you to the truth that, despite his warm embrace, he is not the one. Allowing the relationship to deepen could be a problem, as he may be in love with you, deeply. Perhaps you have fulfilled his capacity to love, while yours is deeper than anyone but a true soul mate could ever fulfill. Should you break up with someone who loves you in the search for an illusionist of love that might never physically manifest? Do your standards for love have outrageous physical qualifications like extreme wealth and soap opera star good looks? If you are with a man now to simulate love but harbor higher standards that you one day intend to seize, you are living outside the boundaries of where true love will ever be able to find you.
ADDING UP
If you are with a man who treats you well and for whom you have some affection, you must consider the best ways to make love blossom. If you hold on to too many illusions about what should be yours without working toward creating the love you want, you will never have the love you so seek. After failed relationships pile up and the love you seek is still elusive, you will have to eventually love the one that you are with. It happens all over the world and for centuries happened with arranged marriages -- love blossoms when you settle on the idea that it is time to work on making love happen. Magic might deliver it quickly, but hard work, affection, respect and commitment can combine to make any relationship a truly loving one.
SETTLING
When you know your man is loyal and loving and you do carry affection for him, you need not be enchanted with his every word, action or hobby. In love, you are allowed to have your own life. When you get mature about being in love, a lot of energy is created with that decision. The direction you choose is the path toward love. Working your way down that path creates the energy of positive reinforcement. Every small step is a plus on the way to true love. Sacrifices of dreams are often ridding one’s self of illusions. The grandest delusion of all is that a single soulmate awaits you, and that he was put here on earth specifically to make you happy. While you should never just settle when it comes to love, the realistic chance to make a relationship work is often the best opportunity for love to enter your life.
